Here now and now here or nowhere

The title of this blog comes from a play on words that "now here" is also the same letters as "nowhere" just with a space added in the middle. I am always trying to get better at being in the here and now, and I've always been a bit of a joker so that is why I chose this name.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Happiness - A Poem by Anfernee Chansamooth and a diatribe on my week in SF

I feel happy when I am surrounded by and connected to Mother Earth,
When radiant sun embraces me and warms me up from within,
When the sea breeze caresses my cheek and the sound of the ocean carries me with her into the deep blue.
I feel happy when the birds cry “hello” up from their traffic-free sky,
When my feet touches soft, tickling grass beneath me,
When the raindrops fall from the heavens and I taste water drops – the gift of life – on my tongue which reminds me that I am alive.
I feel happy when the trees bless me with shade to keep me cool on a hot Summer’s day,
When I share an embrace with another connected soul, for we are all brothers and sisters and manifestations of love,
When a child giggles and stumbles into the arms of their awaiting parent,
When bubbles surround me and pop on my face – disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.
I feel happy when I share a connection, physical, spiritual and emotional,  with that special someone who loves me for me and all that I bring to this reality,
When the words “you may kiss the bride” are uttered at the chapel and a promise of eternal love is exchanged,
When my skin touches the soft sheets to mark my arrival home.
This is when I feel happy.
- Anfernee Chansamooth (2012)

I received the above poem in an email from my friend Anf while I was having dinner with some dear friends in SF. I was visiting my old stomping grounds and catching up with loved ones still in the area. Sitting next to a former lover and across from my yoga teacher training partner, two people who know me very well and always offer up bounds of love to me and my life choices, I felt the words of his poem radiate inside of me. It wasn't just here too, I felt as if the moment I crossed over the Bay Bridge and came back to San Francisco that the city welcomed me with open arms. I spent 5 days immersed in conversations, meals, walks, yoga, and more with people who I love and truly love me. People who I have not seen in over 2.5 years but with all of them it felt like it had been 2.5 days. No time had passed. Sure we'd gotten older, new restaurants opened and old ones closed. Lots had happened, TONS!! but really nothing had happened. We all shared a connection of some sort with each other and time couldn't break that, nor would we want it to. I've started to learn in the last few years what it means to be a good person, and a huge huge HUGE part of this is the people you surround yourself with. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by amazing, intelligent, caring, loving, wonderful people. I know some of it is what I offer up to them and the world, but a huge part is luck.. and I'll take it without any complaints.

I didn't get to see close to everyone I may have hoped to see but thus is life. I am so glad that I got to spend time with every single person that I was fortunate enough to bask in their lights. Leaving places is never easy, though it's something I've gotten very good at in my travels. I don't view San Francisco as a place I'm leaving, more of a location that I'm taking a hiatus from living in. But I'm pretty sure I'll be back (though always open to the possibility that the universe has another plan for me)

Thank you to all of you who helped make the last week in the bay area so comfortable, and happy for me. It may have been cold weather wise, but I was always basking in the warmth from your love.

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